It is wild what the birthing body does when it’s growing a child.

There are of course the initial changes the pregnant body goes through in the early days of pregnancy, which are incredible! Especially when you look into the how / why the body does these things without ever needing to be trained to do it all. It’s incredible!

I’ve been in awe on my own journey watching and experiencing these shifts within my body, the way we adapt to the changes and how we mentally move through it all. The mental part is what has baffled me.

Now I recognize that I am in a unique and privileged position in that I have spent the majority of my pregnancy thus far not working full time. It’s been an incredible blessing that I thank my Husband for regularly because it has allowed me this beautiful space of expansion to explore myself and how I want to show up in the world and specifically for this child. I see and hear of many people simply moving through the stages of pregnancy wishing it away or waiting for the next trimester or for a symptom to stop. I’ll be honest and say that I’ve definitely had moments like that as well, it’s hard not to! However, when we take the time to tune into our bodies and what our baby is telling us, it can be truly magical.

I’ve experienced my baby telling me when to eat, what to eat (this part continues to shock me and I’ll explain more in a moment), when to rest, when it’s happy and loved, when it wants to feel Daddy’s presence and I’m sure there will be more of those learnings as I progress on this journey.

The eating part blows my mind….. In my early early pregnancy, I had complete aversion to all foods. It was a carb only diet (to combat the nausea) mixed with a few smoothies for nutrients, otherwise my body wanted nothing. Then I moved into a phase of baby telling me it wanted all the leafy greens it could get, so I was on a regular routine of raw veggies, fresh salads, all the fruits, smoothies and avocado toast (how hipster of me). That phase was tough for me because I was completely turned off from meats, which was especially heartbreaking when I didn’t even want a steak. Then I moved into a phase of baby craving all of the things, there was no singular item, it was as if baby was telling me that it was ready to flavour all the things that I loved the most, and then some. The fascinating part is that this portion of development was when the baby is apparently developing taste buds and can taste what Mama is eating, so it’s a great way to expand their horizons for a variety of foods!

What I do recognize is that on days when I am a busy bee; here there and everywhere, I don’t feel as connected to my baby as I do on days when I’m slower / resting more frequently. I think there’s something more to be discovered here….. For some it may be connection through meditation, breath work or some other modality that I haven’t explored. For me it is a matter of getting quiet, without distraction, closing my eyes, placing my hands on my belly and waiting for baby to connect with me. It doesn’t take long now that I’m familiar with this little one but in the beginning it was definitely weird.

If you can create a structure with your partner around your changing body that supports your emotional well-being, do it.
Seriously do whatever it takes to include them so that they feel a part of the journey AND so that you are supported.
Early on my partner took on the role of covering my belly with lotion or oil at night when we got into bed. Not every night, because let’s be honest here, I’ve gone to bed some nights many hours before he did…. But on the nights we crawl in around the same time, he does this for me usually without prompt and it’s been his way of experiencing the growth of my belly, the change of texture, the development of skin tags or belly hair. It’s been a really sweet way that we’ve been connecting and he enjoys the moments of realization watching how much growth occurs.

Another key we’ve discovered along the way is communicating about the changes. It’s super important for the birthing person to be able to voice what they are experiencing so that they are feeling heard. It’s surprisingly isolating and lonely going through a pregnancy if you don’t have the freedom to share openly about the experiences along the way.
Having been through what felt like an impossibly long journey to successful conception, I’ve experienced the flip side of this loneliness where you don’t want to share the pain and heartbreak of not getting to a successful pregnancy and how hard it is to share yourself honestly with others. This holds true during pregnancy if you have others in your life that are going through the journey to attempt to conceive. At the end of the day, what matters and will make a difference is if you have a safe space with your partner and at least a friend or family member that you can share openly with, without judgement. It will make a difference.

The reality is that no matter how beautiful of a blessing pregnancy is… It is hard.